August 31, 2007
When I lose my temper.
If I don't write about this I might just scream. Or I might hurt someone. Or I might hurt someone AND scream. Any way it goes, I just need to get it out.
So, usually I take my breaks outside, but yesterday one of the guys in the warehouse saw me outside and said that I was being antisocial. "What, you're too good to take your breaks with us?" He asked. Well, no, I'm not, so today I decided I'd take my break with them.
Big. Fucking. Mistake.
The Q & A started about Joshua.
Him: So who's this guy you call your boyfriend?
Me: He's a guy.
Him: Where does he live?
Me: Indiana
Him: How old is he?
Me: 23
Him: Damn. How old are you?
Me: 33
Him: So you like little boys?
Me: He's not a little boy.
Him: But he's 10 years younger than you.
Me: Glad you can do math.
Him: So when did you meet?
Me: We've been talking since about New Years Eve
Him: So have you fucked him yet?
Me: *blinks* Um. We haven't met each other yet.
Him: Oh! So you call him your boyfriend, and you haven't met him or fucked him yet, but you love him?
Me: Who said I love him.
Him: That's what you told Dave.
Me: *glares at Dave* Yes. I love him.
Him: So you talk on the computer?
Me: Yes, and on the phone.
Him: Oh, so you sit on the computer and on the phone all "Hi baby, I love you, I miss you, when can we fuck?" right?
Me: Um, no. We don't say 'I love you.'
Him: Oh, so you love him, but he doesn't love you?
Me: Shut up Bryan.
Him: Well I'm just asking.
Me: Shut UP Bryan!
Him: Are you mad?
Me: Bryan, seriously, shut up.
Him: Why do you talk to him if he doesn't love you?
Me: *storms off*
Him: Stephanie. Steph! STEPHANIE!
There was actually a lot more to this conversation, with him accusing me of being a pedophile and asking when the last time I had sex was. Asking me if I was okay if Joshua was fucking other girls "Because at 23 you can't expect him to be faithful, but you know that, right?"
All this from the mouth of a 24 year old father of four. I am so mad I'm crying. I can't fucking stop. I want to hurt him.
I could get him fired, but that would only hurt his family. God what an asshole. It's like he picked at every insecurity I already have and made it worse. It wouldn't be so bad if he was saying just random stuff, but it was like he was IN MY HEAD picking at every little thing he knew would hurt the most.
I hate men sometimes. I really do.
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jktty at 1:20 p.m.