September 07, 2006
When I rant about hygeine.
Today is His birthday. What do I have to say about that? So.
Seriously, what I wouldn't give to see the look on His face if I was able to walk out the door on His birthday and never look back. Oh, the effect would so be worth the effort.
Since that's not going to happen, I think I'll gripe about something that gets on my nerves. Buckle up, kids, I might say a dirty word!
I'm a little phobic about hygeine. I shower at least once a day, sometimes twice, and in the summer up to three times. I'm all about deodorant and lotion and body spray and even perfume if I'm going out.
I brush my teeth in the morning, and before bed, and if I've had a particularly odorous lunch, I'll brush then, too. I do mouthwash, dental floss, mints, and gum.
I keep my feet pedicured. Nails trimmed. ...other things trimmed. (You did NOT just cringe, did you?)
I CARE about the way I look, the way I smell, and the way I am perceived. Even on the days I feel like crap, I want to look good. No, it's not vanity. I am probably the least vain person you'll ever meet. It's just that I was taught to care about these things.
Some people were never taught that. Some people only bathe when it's necessary. That means if they work 5 days a week, they bathe 5 days a week. Who needs a bath on your day off, right? Who cares that you smell like you just went for a swim in a porta-john? Who cares that your hair is so greasy that it's standing on end, and might never lay back down?
Some people use a toothbrush about once or twice a month, and wonder why they never get kissed. Some people use girly-smelling body-wash to clean areas that need industrial strength detergent to make them smell decent. Some people haven't washed between their toes in so long that it's amazing they haven't fused together!
Listen, no amount of deodorant, body spray, body wash or powder is ever gonna make that ok. And you want me to do WHAT?
No. Not even if it IS your birthday.
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jktty at 1:44 p.m.