August 17, 2006
When I say too much.
We tried another "date" last night. This one was actually not that bad. Sometimes I see flashes of the man I used to love.
The sense of humor, the snarky comments, and the way he looks at me as if I am the only woman in the room...those things remind me of who He was. But then he will say something, or do something, and I can't ignore that He isn't the same person any longer.
I don't feel the same. I can't stand for him to touch me. He demands affection, and I give it grudgingly. He demands more, and I have a much more difficult time pretending to be someone else.
But I have to. And when the lights are off...He can be anybody in my mind.
Can we forget I just typed that?
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jktty at 1:48 p.m.