October 18, 2007
I'm quitting.
No, I'm not quitting my job!
Yesterday while I was at work, I made a comment to my co-worker that I was going to quit smoking. I said that I was just going to finish the pack I had already started, and then I was done. She just laughed and shook her head and said "You're not going to quit.", as if it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.
I smoked from the time I was 17 years old until October, 2001. That's ten years. When I quit in 2001, I said I'd never start again. So a couple of months ago when I picked it back up, I was pretty disappointed in myself. I've been in denial about the whole thing, though. Anyway, the fact that nobody believes I can quit is enough motivation to keep me from lighting up.
There are things I want to talk about here, and don't think that I can. There are people that I need to vent about, and can't. Why? Because I'm so smart, and I like to share my blog with people. Not just random people, no, I like to share my blog with people about whom I would like to talk.
I've seen disclaimers on people's blogs that say something like "If you read something here that shocks you or hurts your feelings, get over it." ...and I'd really like to say that, and then just let loose, but I can't. I want to be like Betty, she gets to talk about her Boy in as much or as little detail as she chooses, and not worry that he's going to have a window straight into her head. And Pantry, she just says whatever she wants, and is semi-anonymous...but more or less has an "I don't really care." attitude.
I'm such an emotional blogger, I usually write my deepest thoughts and feelings here. I still do on some subjects. However, when I write about "certain people" here...it's always tempered by the knowledge that "they" might read it. When I was paying for Gold, I had the private entries option, but now that I'm not 100% sure I'll be staying here, I'm not going to pay for Gold.
Just tell me to quit whining any time. It's not like I have anything life-alteringly important to say anyway. It's just that...I need to quit repeating myself and move on past this subject.
(But seriously, if anyone has any suggestions...you can email me at syllviesinclair AT gmail DOT com).
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jktty at 7:45 p.m.