October 17, 2007
Job dilemma and the crazy guy.
Since I didn't write on Tuesday, I guess I can do two entries today and not feel like I'm over-sharing. Josh asked me a simple question tonight and I went off on a 20 minute ramble, and then felt bad for talking his head off, so I thought maybe I had more to say and should come vent it here.
I know I shouldn't be stupid and talk about my job in a negative light, and what I have to say isn't really negative, but could probably get me in trouble anyway. However, I really need to put my thoughts down so that in a few months I can look back and either kick myself in the ass or applaud myself.
I feel like I've reached this point at my job where I'm not going to go any higher. It's possible that they will be opening another office soon (they have talked about opening one in Bossier City, LA), and that I could transfer there and get a pseudo-promotion. Okay, more like a lateral move, but with a REAL move, and with a different environment. Really though, that plan is just in "talks", and might not happen for a year or more.
In the meantime, I'm bored. I'm not doing everything I'm supposed to do every day because of my boredom. I've had issues with punctuality, and it's stalled my annual raise. (If I show up on time every day for a month, I'll get the raise, but can I just say that I'm NOT a morning person, and punctuality is not one of my strong points - nevermind what it says on my resume'.)
A couple of months ago my best friend called and told me about a great job opportunity in her department. I rushed to apply, and held my breath. The pay is outstanding, the benefits are phenomenal, and I'd be working with Ali! I waited, and waited, and waited. Apparently they decided to NOT hire anyone yet.
I think my options are:
- 1. Stay where I am and appreciate what I've got.
2. Stay where I am and wait for the previously mentioned job to come open.
3. Stay where I am and start looking for a job elsewhere. or
4. Quit my job and hike across South America.
Really, all kidding aside, I do love my job. It's easy work, it's a very comfortable work environment, and I've never worked somewhere that is so understanding about the issues that come up in life. Flat tire? No problem. Doctors appointment every Monday at 4? Fine. Overslept, and got to work 15 minutes late every day for a week? No big deal. You don't find too many employers like this anymore, and I am NOT complaining about my job, but...
I'm a smart person. I'm not challenging myself. I'm not earning up to my potential. I have goals...and things I'd like to do...that I can't do because even though I get paid well, I'm not making what I SHOULD be making.
I worked in a doctors office. A lot of our patients were hematology/oncology patients with cancer. When you see the same people week in and week out, you can't help but become attached to them. When Mrs. So-and-so doesn't show up for an appointment, it suddenly dawns on you that you're dealing with patients who are facing a life-or-death illness. It was emotionally draining for me.
Not to mention my boss was a bitch, and a liar. I was often left alone in the clinic with impatient and demanding doctors, with ten patients needing to be checked in, and ten patients needing to be checked out. Doctor J. needs Mr. Smith to follow up in two weeks, Doctor A. needs Mrs. Jones to have an appointment with a pulmonologist, Doctor T. needs the notes from his last visit with Mr. Brown...and they all need it RIGHT NOW.
stress case? me? I was. Not to mention it was the first job I had after I lost custody of my kids, and I was pretty well batshit crazy myself.
So why is it that when I start looking for a new job, I automatically start by looking for jobs within the hospital where I worked before? I guess I'm a glutton for punishment.
I feel like I could handle the job. I was good at it. The patients loved me. The doctors loved me. I got along with (most of) my co-workers. I guess my only reservation is that I've gotten very comfortable at the job I have now. I shouldn't say this, but I honestly spend about 40% of my day doing my "job", and the rest of the day is spent trying to "look busy." I can't get away with that anywhere else.
I'm rambling again. See why I feel bad for talking Josh's head off?
I met this guy a few months ago. He seemed really nice. I'm not one of those people that believes men and women can't be friends. I have a LOT of male friends. Apparently I misread his intentions, and it wasn't too long before he was suggesting that we should move in together, and that he just 'knew' I was going to be his wife.
.
Did you hear that? That was the sound of BRAKES, followed by a CRASH! I wrote him a very nice letter explaining that we couldn't talk anymore, and that I wished him all the best. He wrote me two or three more times, and even exchanged emails with Josh, and I thought it was all over.
But like weeds, he is the gift that keeps on giving. Usually I just ignore his emails, dump them in the trash, and empty it before I feel guilty enough to read what he says. Yesterday he wrote me with the subject: PLEASE!
I really should get a thicker skin. Sometimes I worry I'll be the woman that gets slashed by the Ted Bundy wannabe because I was too nice to drive by the guy on crutches that's broke down on the side of the road.
Anyway, can you call someone a stalker when they only email you once or twice a month? When they don't seem to have a very firm grasp on reality. When, no matter what you say, they just don't quit.
I know some people would just say it's romantic and that he's really dedicated, but fuckme it's getting OLD. If anybody wants him, I'd be happy to give you his email address. ;)
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jktty at 9:55 p.m.