August 29, 2007
When I say what I don't say.
I am so in love with you, in case you haven't noticed.
I think about you all the time. I talk about you all the time. You are the first thing I think about when I wake up, and the last thing I think about when I go to bed.
I am never so happy as I am when I talk to you, and you just don't know what you do to me. You make me smile, you make me laugh, and I can't imagine a day without you in it.
You are so amazing to me. From when we met until now you've changed so much, and I can't help but love you more for it. I am a better person because you are in my life.
I know that there are hundreds of miles between us, but you are always right here with me, in my heart. I know it may be months before we are able to meet each other, but I know it will be worth the wait.
There's so much that I don't say to you, and I don't know why. Maybe because I've let you pace this whole relationship, and I'm not in a hurry to push you faster than you want to go, or to push you away. The thought rests on my mind constantly that you might not love me back, that for you, this is about something else. But honestly, I love you so much that even if my love isn't returned, I'm okay with that, and I just need you to know how special you are to me.
I love you Joshua. I don't need you to say those words to me...but I need to say them to you, and if I say them to you, then you might feel like I'm pushing you to say the same...so I'll say it here.
I love you so much more than you even know.
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jktty at 12:30 a.m.